The Universe Has a Twisted Sense of Humor
by inkheart9459
Summary: For as long as she's had it, Emma's TiMER has been at zero. After more than a few false starts she's trying to accept that fact, that she has to live for herself instead of some soulmate or other. Except then the kid she gave up for adoption ten years ago is on her doorstep and it leads her to Storybrooke, Maine, where suddenly her TiMER isn't at zero anymore.


Written for Swan Queen Week Winter 2015 Day Five: Soulmate AU. Enjoy.

* * *

Emma Swan's TiMER had always been at zero. Ever since she got one like every other sixteen year old on the planet, it had been a stark reminder that she wasn't good enough for anyone. She didn't have parents that loved her, so why should she have a soulmate, a true love, whatever you wanted to call it. She shouldn't. And so the world had made sure she didn't.

She had tried to deal with that fact in a myriad of ways, mostly self-destructive, Emma was aware of that now. But it didn't matter. Here she was on her twenty-eighth birthday, staring at her TiMER and its row full of zeros with a cupcake, what did it matter that she had gone down a bad path. No one would care. She had set herself on the right path once she was out of prison and that was all that mattered. She had to live for herself and herself only. Emma had to keep reminding herself of that. If no one would take care of her she would do the damn best she could on her own.

But it was hard to remember that with zeros on your wrist, taunting you always. She had heard stories of people taking out their TiMER, people like her with no hope, but it never went well. And so Emma was stuck with it, alone on her own.

She lit the candle on the birthday cupcake in front of her and closed her eyes. Things she wished for flashed before her eyes. She wanted to find someone else with their TiMER on zero, someone who understood, she wanted to make a life that wasn't so lonely. Fuck soulmates, fuck everything that told her relationships like that couldn't work, she would damn well do it because she was Emma Swan and no one told her what to do anymore, not even a piece of infallible technology.

She blew out the candle just as a knock sounded at the front door. She sighed, swiped her finger through the icing and padded back down the hall towards her door licking her finger. When she opened the door no one was there.

A throat cleared and Emma looked down. "Are you Emma Swan?" A tiny boy, who looked around nine maybe ten, asked.

Emma cocked an eyebrow. "Uh, yeah, but kid they don't exactly allow soliciting in the building so whatever Boy Scout thing you're selling, you better high tail it."

"I'm not a Boy Scout." He scowled, but plowed on. "Did you give up a baby for adoption ten years ago."

Emma felt like she had been punched in the gut. She did her best not to remember that. "I, uh, yeah."

The kid pushed past her. "I'm Henry, your son." He headed right towards her kitchen, making himself at home, dropping his backpack by one of the barstools,

Emma just stared after him, she couldn't believe this was happening. How exactly was it happening? It had been a closed adoption. The kid shouldn't know anything about her. But it wasn't like she didn't know that there were ways around that, but this kid was ten. She was breathing hard, almost hyperventilating. She took a deep breath and told the kid she'd be right back. Or at least she thought she did. She couldn't really remember.

She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror a minute later. That self-destructive path she'd gone down at sixteen not long after she had gotten her TiMER had led to the kid currently shouting about juice in her kitchen. She had run away, gone on a stealing streak, fallen into bed with the first male thief she'd found and kept fucking him until he'd flipped on her and ran, leaving her at the mercy of the police. Fucking bastard. How had any of this happened?

She took another deep breath, only slightly calmer now, but she realized that her problem wasn't going to go away if she just stayed in the bathroom. So she walked back out and found the kid chugging directly from the bottle of mango orange juice.

"Kid, what are you doing here?" she heard herself ask. It was like this entire thing was an out of body experience. "Your Mom is probably worried sick about you."

"No she's not, she's evil!"

Emma looked the kid over. He was wearing expensive clothes, was well fed and looked well kempt, acted completely socially normal, basically there was nothing screaming abuse to her and she had learned the signs well when she was younger. She also knew she could be wrong, but she didn't really think so. Her gut said that this was just a spoiled kid lashing out at the mother who raised him for some small slight. Maybe he'd just found out he was adopted or something, that would make sense.

She said nothing about the evil comment and just continued on. "Come on, kid we're putting you on a bus back to wherever you came from." Emma went to grab her wallet. This wasn't how she wanted to spend the first bit of her paycheck for that bastard she'd just had dinner with, but needs must.

"No."

She looked back at the kid. He had a defiant expression on his face that she knew had to have come from her. She cursed up a blue streak in her head. Of course the kid would end up just as stubborn as she was. Great.

"No?"

"No, you have to come back with me."

"And why would I do that?" Emma cocked an eyebrow and tried to look like a stern mom. She had a feeling it wasn't working at all, but at least she tried.

"Because if you don't I'll call the police and tell them that you kidnapped me."

Emma's eyes widened. That little shit. She huffed. "And they won't believe anything I say because I'm your birth mother. Right." She glared at him. And of course he'd gotten the manipulative streak from the rat bastard. Great, best of both worlds in this kid.

"Fine, whatever, I'll drive you back. Where do you even live kid?"

"Storybrooke, Maine." He smiled having got his way.

"Well, if I'm going to drive that far in the middle of the night I'm going to need to change. Be right back kid." She walked into her room and started to bang her head on the wall. She wondered idly if this birthday could get any worse, then groaned at herself for thinking that because then it always got worse after anyone thought that. She shook her head and started to change. It was going to be a long, long night.

* * *

The kid babbled on and on throughout the almost four hour drive. Emma thought he would conk out sometime, but no, he kept talking about literally anything that came to mind. The kid was way too trusting, that certainly didn't come from her or rat bastard. She didn't understand the significance of the book in his lap either and when she asked he'd given some ridiculous answer about her not being ready yet. She had shrugged and given up.

An hour later apparently her lack of interest in the book had bothered him because he kept poking at her to ask about it. She caved if only to get the kid to shut up. Then he was babbling about his Mom being the Evil Queen and her being the savior that was going to save the whole town of cursed fairy tale characters, who didn't remember they were fairy tale characters conveniently enough, from the Evil Queen's curse. Emma tried hard not to gawk and the kid and then bust out laughing. It was clear that the boy was a bit on the crazy side, or maybe he just had a super active imagination, if nothing else Emma got a clearer view on just why the kid had come to find her.

They rolled past a sign the welcomed them to Storybrooke a little after three in the morning. Emma blinked a second later, feeling a bit weird, but shook it off. She was almost home free. Whatever that was, if she was getting sick or something, she could sleep it off when she got home. If she needed to she could pull over at a rest stop and take a nap in the Bug. It wasn't like she hadn't slept in the thing before.

She pulled onto what looked like the main street of a one stop light town and looked over at Henry. "Okay, so where do you live, kid?"

"I don't want to go home. She's evil."

Emma sighed. She wasn't going to get a word out of the kid if he didn't want to talk. She was the exact same way. Instead, she saw a man and his dog walking around the streets. He might not be the most savory character walking around at a late hour, but if this was the sleepy small town she thought it was, then it was probably ok. She knew how to handle herself if it wasn't. She rolled to a stop and hopped out, Henry right behind her. She scowled at that but rolled with it.

"Hey, Mister, do you know where Henry here lives?"

The man recognized Henry immediately. "Henry! The entire town has been looking for you."

Henry crossed his arms. "It's fine, Archie, I went to find my mom."

Archie looked up at her with a new look in his eyes. She just kind of shrugged awkwardly. She wasn't his mom. She wasn't his anything other than a ride home. She brought up her hand to run it through her hair and stopped dead.

Her TiMER.

It. It didn't read at zero anymore. There were real honest to god numbers on it and it was counting down. And there was less than ten minutes until she met her soulmate. She tapped on it hard to see if it as just glitching. It didn't matter that no TiMER ever had ever malfunctioned. This had to be wrong.

"Miss?" Archie called.

Emma snapped back to herself. "Uh, sorry, I just…my TiMER never had numbers on it before but now it does. It just must be a malfunction." She shrugged. "Now where's his house again?"

"Go down this street until you hit the next turn and go left, it's the big white one, you can't miss it."

Emma shot him a strained smile. "Thanks." She looked to Henry. "Come on, kid, let's get you home."

Henry grumbled, but with Archie watching he had no choice but to get back in the car.

Emma started the Bug back up and coasted down the street slowly, taking the man's directions. Her eyes widened when she saw the house. House didn't even begin to cover it. It was a mansion.

"This is where you live, kid?"

"Yeah, I guess." He was pouting now.

Emma whistled. Wow. This was the exact set up she wished for when she gave the kid away. She was so glad that he had gotten it, that he hadn't faced the horrors that she had in the system. Something unclenched inside her that she never realized had been tensed up. She blinked slowly and breathed out. It was such a weird feeling.

She stopped the Bug and looked at Henry. "Well, I came with you to Storybrooke and now you're home. Can't call the cops on me now." She titled her head, a challenging little gesture, and got out of the car. Kid had to learn sometimes that the advantage could flip on you at any second, might as well be from her instead of someone who actually would hurt him.

Henry slammed the Bug door behind her. He trailed dejectedly behind her, gripping his back pack straps hard enough to turn his fingers white. Emma sighed. She hoped someday the kid saw this as for the best. She wasn't his mother. She wasn't meant to be anyone's mother, not now and definitely not at eighteen. He was a nice kid and she liked him, as crazy as he might be, but that didn't matter.

The front door of the mansion opened and a woman came running down the walk at a full tilt.

"Henry!" she exclaimed, crashing into Henry and wrapping her arms around him hard. "I was so worried." It sounded like she had been crying for a long while.

"I found my real mom!" Henry yanked out of Regina's arms and ran into the house.

The woman looked up at her and Emma's breath was taken dead away. She wasn't sure she'd ever breathe again and she wasn't quite sure she was anything but ok with that. Holy hell.

"You're Henry's birthmother?" she asked.

Emma opened her mouth just as both of their TiMERs went off loudly. The woman looked at her wrist and then back and Emma, not believing it. When the noise faded Emma just managed to stutter out a reply.

"Hi."

The woman looked at her for a very long moment, confused with worry still radiating off her. "How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you ever tasted?"

Emma swallowed. "Got anything stronger?" Because she was damn well going to need it for this conversation. She wasn't sure that she wasn't dreaming back in her apartment in Boston. How had this happened?

The brunette nodded and led Emma inside. The house, Emma wasn't surprised to find, was as nice on the inside as it was on the outside. She had to hold in a gasp. Jesus, how was this even real? She looked down at her wrist. It was displaying the time it had been just a minute before in an odd purple-blue color. It was actually real. She had actually matched. She didn't remember how many times she had looked at other people's TiMERs, all different colors with all hours of the day painted on them, with jealousy. She'd been sure she'd never have that, that her wrist would be blank as always.

She looked at the woman's wrist and caught a glimpse of the same purple color. But here she was, she had actually matched and with a stunningly beautiful woman who also happened to be the mother of her son. Whoever said the universe didn't have a twisted sense of humor was lying through their teeth.

The woman turned around and handed Emma a tumbler of dark brown liquid. Emma smiled at her awkwardly and took a quick sip of her drink and almost groaned. Whiskey, really, really good whiskey, or maybe it was scotch. She didn't care, it was great. She took another sip and savored it immensely as it burned down her throat with smooth fire.

A scruffy man peaked in, badge on his hip. Emma hadn't even noticed he was here. "Regina, Henry's asleep upstairs, and other than being a tired little boy, he's fine. If that's all Madam Mayor needs I'll head out for the night."

Regina nodded. "Thank you Graham."

He inclined his head and stepped from the room. The front door opened and closed behind him a second later.

Emma and Regina were left staring at each other. She didn't quite know what to say. What was there to say to your soulmate that until that day hadn't existed according to her TiMER?

"I admit, I'd never thought that I'd see this day," Regina said quietly, swirling her drink.

"Neither did I. It's been at zero the entire time I've had it. I don't know what changed."

Regina hummed. "Yes, mine as well. I thought that I'd met my soulmate long before I'd ever had a TiMER, but he died long before we could ever find out." She looked up at Emma with a fierce look in her eyes and Emma got the impression that if she ever told anyone that particular detail she would be flayed alive and left to die slowly. Admittedly, it shouldn't have turned her on, but it did a little bit.

"Do you think they're broken?" Emma asked even as she feared the answer. She didn't want them to be broken. All those years of thinking that she wasn't good enough for a soulmate, they hadn't been shattered by the TiMER going off, but the first crack had been made. She could dismantle all those feelings from here if she let herself. It would be hard, but what in her life wasn't. But if Regina wanted, she could seal that crack right back up and shatter the rest of her in an instant. She sort of hated that someone had such power over her, but then again she supposed that's how soulmates should be.

"May I?" Regina held out her hand.

Emma set her glass down and put her wrist in Regina's hand. She drew in a shaky breath at their hands touching. Oh wow, this shouldn't affect her as much as it was. It was an innocent touch, but her heartbeat did not know that.

Regina held up her own wrist and compared the small screens of their TiMERs. Everything was identical. Regina dropped her own wrist, but kept ahold of Emma's with her other hand.

"We could have them tested, but I think that would be waste of our time. No one will believe what happened, happened since they're supposed to be infallible. And to be honest…" she trailed off and didn't finish her sentence but Emma had a feeling that she knew where it went. To be honest there was a draw between them. No matter how weird this all was, the TiMERs seemed to be right.

"Ok, I'm good with just rolling with it if you are." Emma looked into Regina's eyes. There was a great deal of conflict there, but Emma wasn't sure it was about the TiMER thing or something else. Maybe like the fact that she was Henry's birthmother. That definitely threw an interesting wrench in things.

"I am."

They stared at each other for a long moment. Regina's hand was still holding her wrist. Her thumb had started to make small circles over Emma's skin. Emma sighed and relaxed into the touch. Weird wasn't even a word to describe this anymore.

"So, um, what happens next?" Emma rubbed the back of her neck and looked away.

"I'm not sure. It's been…quite a while since I was last in a romantic relationship."

Something shifted upstairs and they both glanced up. Probably just Henry tossing in his bed.

"Yeah, me either. I'm not exactly sure I've been in any romantic relationships, honestly. The TiMER kinda made me bitter and I just kinda fell into some, uh, _interesting_ pseudo-relationships and one night stands." She blushed hard. Way to go Emma, lay out your sketchy past for your soulmate right away, she thought to herself. She wanted to hit her head off the nearest wall.

Regina hummed. "I suppose I've done much the same."

Emma stared at Regina. How had a woman this beautiful not been snatched up by some dashing man or woman long ago? Then again, Emma herself had learned that if someone didn't want to be with someone, there wasn't a damn thing they could do. That's how she had been. Maybe that's how Regina had been as well. Maybe they were more alike than Emma thought.

"Um, look, about the kid, I'm not his mom, you are. This thing or not." She motioned to her wrist. "I gave that claim up ten years ago and from talking to him on the way up here he seems like a great little boy, a little too imaginative with that whole everyone is a fairytale character in town and you're the Evil Queen who cursed them here thing, but he'll probably grow out of that."

Regina looked like she'd been slapped. "Fairy tales?"

"Uh yeah, he has this book of them that he carries around like it's the bible or something." Emma shrugged.

"Right, right, um." She bit her lip for half a second before her face returned to a neutral mask.

"You had no idea, did you?" Emma cocked her head to the side, looking at Regina's stricken face.

"No, he's been in therapy for about a year now in order to help him cope with the news of being adopted. He took it rather badly. I should have told him earlier, but I was apprehensive of telling him, rationalizing it behind wanting him to be old enough to truly understand. He started pulling away and I wished to help him, but I had no idea that he'd…"

Emma flipped her wrist over and drew Regina's hand into her own, lacing her fingers together. "I'm sorry." Emma didn't know what to say other than that.

"It's quite alright." But Regina still looked as if something had scared the life out of her. "Miss Swan, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Regina drew her hand out of Emma's and stood.

Emma scowled, but she stood. "Ok, it is late, you've been through a lot today, I get that. But we probably do need to talk about this more." Her TiMER flashed in the dim firelight filling the study.

"We will, Miss Swan. Of course we will, but if you are rather like me, you don't let anyone, especially a piece of inanimate technology, tell you what to do." Regina had morphed from almost open to someone with their walls so high that Emma couldn't see the top. Why in the hell had a mention of fairytales caused this sort of reaction?

Regina led her to the front door. Emma looked at her for a long, long moment, not really wanting to go. She had just found the person who was supposed to be her soulmate. How could she want to leave after that? She had actually been worthy of someone this whole time without realizing it. Conflict was still in Regina's eyes. She hadn't shoved Emma out the door yet, but there was fear in her eyes.

Emma stepped forward and took Regina's hand. "Is there a place I can stay in town for the night so we can talk later?" She glanced behind her. The first signs of dawn were approaching now.

"Granny's, the diner you passed on your way in, it has an inn attached at the back. You'll be able to get a room there. Granny will probably be thrilled at the thought of any actual business in the inn, actually." Faint amusement flickered then was gone.

"Ok, I'll be there then. Um, you have your cell phone on you?"

Regina pulled a cell phone from seemingly thin air, though probably her dress just had really nice pockets sewed in so they couldn't be seen. Emma fought the urge to step forward and feel the material. It looked really soft and had to be worth at least a fourth of her last bounty, probably more.

Emma instead reached for the phone and plugged in her number quickly. She sent herself a text and then handed back the phone. "Well, now you have my number and I have yours. Text you in the morning to see when we can talk?" Emma looked at her hopefully.

Regina nodded hesitantly. "I suppose that is amicable, Miss Swan." She opened the front door and Emma took that as her sign to vamoose.

She bit the inside of her lip for just a second before stepping forward. This was probably a really stupid idea, but she didn't care. She wanted to do this, wanted to know it was real. Regina inched forward herself, not stepping back at Emma's clear advancement. Her eyes were still so conflicted, but her actions weren't. Her hand reached out and found Emma's waist. Emma took the last step forward and pressed her lips lightly to Regina's cheek. She sighed at the warm feeling of skin under her and the tingles it sent up her spine. She felt Regina melt into her just slightly and she knew for certain that this wasn't a fluke. They were soulamtes. The TiMER was right.

A wave of energy blasted out of the two of them a second later, while Emma was still reveling in the feel of skin. She jumped back and looked around, looking wildly at Regina. "What the hell just happened?" Her eyes widened. Regina's eyes were fucking purple.

"Now, Emma, things get interesting." She shut the front door back again and locked it. She sighed heavily, looking so defeated. "Come, there's much to explain before the first of the mob gets here. Suffice to say that Henry wasn't exactly wrong." Regina blinked and the purple was gone.

Emma stepped forward again and grabbed Regina. Energy was buzzing through them again, except now it was stronger and Emma wasn't exactly sure she could pull back at that moment.

"What do you mean?" Emma's brain was having problems catching up with all this. Fairytales didn't exist. But then what the hell was that energy and why were Regina's eyes purple?

Regina held up the hand that Emma wasn't holding and a fireball appeared right dead center in her palm. "I'm the Evil Queen, dear." She closed her eyes as if she was tired. "And with that comes magic and a great deal of fear and anger towards me. Like I said, a mob will be here soon to do gods know what to me."

Emma felt a protective instinct rise in her. No, she wasn't going to let anyone have Regina, not before they actually got to explore this soulmate thing. "I won't let them."

Regina just smiled at her, sad and bittersweet. "Not after what I tell you. Come."

Emma looked after her as she walked off. She suppressed an insane urge to laugh. Of course her TiMER would lead her to the Evil Queen. There was the twisted sense of humor of the universe again.

She walked into the study and went to sit down right next to Regina. But just because it was maybe a twisted joke didn't mean that Emma wasn't going to make the best of it. She took Regina's hand and settled in to listen to her story.


End file.
